sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
