pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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