some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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