drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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