he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
