He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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