Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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