Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
