Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
