All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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