Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
