Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
