we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
