The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize
