Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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