Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just pee around me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
