dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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