I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
