Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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