I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
