butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
