I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
