Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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