I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My feet surprised me
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