Is it normal to miss your booty call?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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