im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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