so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
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Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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