Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
