I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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