Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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