And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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