I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
