For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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