he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
