we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
