I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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