Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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