Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
