You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
