In the future we'll all be gay
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
