as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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