Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
