I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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