that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
