Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
