Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
