And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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