i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
