There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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