So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
