Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
