so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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