We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
