tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
