wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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