So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
