Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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