Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
