Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The struggles of a small town man whore
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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