Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
