So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
