using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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